Breaking the Myth of Laziness: A Working Mom's Guide to Managing Energy

One of the worst pieces of advice I ever received as a working mom trying to manage her home was to not be lazy. Here's why....

The underlying message was that if I wasn't tackling all of my goals and taking care of everything that needed to be done, it was because I lacked good character and discipline. I was told to work harder to get everything done.

But as a mom, there is always work that needs to be done. And it's not just a one-time tasks either - that includes cyclical stuff we do that comes back again and again. 

The 3 Different Energy Times (Inspired by Human Design)

The Most Abundant Energy Type

Some people have seemingly unlimited energy and can tackle anything and everything. But holding them up as a standard for all of us to reach is not fair, because many of us will never reach that level of abundant energy. It's just not in our genetic makeup.

Furthermore, having an abundance of energy can actually be challenging as these people may feel pressured to do any and everything that seems necessary, regardless of whether it holds personal significance to them or not. This lack of selectivity in energy expenditure can lead to a busy schedule filled with societal expectations, leaving little to no time for introspection and pursuing one's own goals. Consequently, it can cause one to question if life is simply a monotonous cycle of chores and routines.

The Selectively Abundant Energy Type

There are also those of us who can tap into an abundance of energy, however we need to be doing things that light us up and that feel meaningful. If scrubbing baseboards is not our thing, we may struggle with believing that we are lazy because we can't commit to cleaning labor for hours upon hours. But that's not the case - some of us our designed to thrive when we are intentional about where we spend our time and energy. If we do what we love, we will find an abundance of energy for that. We have to be selective with what we do outside of the things that we care about, because we won't have the energy to sustain doing those types of tasks all day. 

There is nothing wrong with being created this way. Those of us in this category can do a pretty decent job of keeping up with household responsibilities by setting up short, realistic routines that focus on high impact tasks and leverage the part of the day when we tend to be the most energized. Consistently showing up to short, strategic routines may not seem like a big deal in the short term, but it does add up. If you need an example of what this could look like, check out my free YouTube course called The Peaceful Home keeping Challenge.

The Most Selective Energy Type

Some people just don't have a ton of energy for one reason or another. They have to be the most intentional about where they spend their time and energy. Once again, there is nothing wrong with this energy profile. This group of people have their own strengths and contributions to offer the world, but it's just not going to be their physical output. All these energy types would benefit from outsourcing and asking for help. But strategies to minimize the mess to begin with and asking for help will be of the utmost importance for people whose energy levels are set up like this. And that's okay.

Learn to Thrive In Your Own (Energy) Lane

In conclusion, we're all designed to function in different ways energetically. What hurts all of us is to believe that one energy type is superior above all of the rest. All of these different energy types have their strengths and weaknesses, even the high energy type society tells us we should all aspire to. Instead of trying to get it all done, the goal instead should to be to become self aware, learn where you are energetically, and find strategies to help you thrive in your own lane.

Peace and Blessing, 

LaDay

The Power of Framework Thinking

I used to think that frameworks were these magical solutions that only thought leaders and creatives had access to. 

I was always looking for other people's frameworks, never really trusting myself to create my own. But now, I finally understand what framework thinking is and how it can be useful.

Frameworks are simply the simplification of complex ideas. If the complex idea is a painting of a person, the framework is the stick figure drawing of that person. Once you have the framework down, you can begin to add more meat and bones to it by discussing or going over each component of the framework in more detail.

One of the biggest benefits of using frameworks is that they help you to digest complex ideas more easily. When you boil it down to the bare nuts and bolts, it becomes much easier to understand and build upon.

Starting with a framework creates a great starting point. And the best part is that there is no such thing as the one and only framework. They can evolve depending on the context and what the creator thinks is important.

When people create frameworks, they often start with a question or problem that they are trying to solve. This helps to determine which nuts and bolts to focus on first. It's like trying to figure out what's wrong with your car. There are so many components involved in a car. However, if you identify the problem that you are trying to solve , like why won’t my car start? or why is my car overheating? The question/problem can give you further focus when identifying which components to start with as the foundation of your framework.

As a chronic thinker and creator, I find this way of thinking to be incredibly helpful when navigating through topics that can seem all over the place.

In conclusion, starting with a framework is a great way to simplify complex ideas and make them more manageable. So, the next time you're struggling to understand a complex idea, try breaking it down into a framework. You might be surprised at how much easier it becomes.

Peace and blessings.

Love Always, LaDay

Parenting Book Review: How to talk so kids will listen & Listen so kids will talk

To be honest, I don't even remember purchasing the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids Will Talk

Even when I saw it in my Audible account, I was hesitant to read it because it didn't seem like something I'd be interested in.

While I'm all for improving my parenting skills, something about the title made me think of self-help books with high-level advice that's hard to apply to everyday life.

But boy, was I wrong! I'm so glad this book came into my life at the right time.

I was recently discussing with a friend on Instagram the challenges we were facing in our gentle parenting journeys. I've been working hard to strip away unhealthy habits like spanking, yelling, and threatening, but it's become clear that I have very few EFFECTIVE tools left to encourage my children to follow my lead.

While I know there are some vague guidelines on how to work with children without resorting to traditional approaches, the truth is that kids aren't always rational, and some behaviors need to be addressed quickly. I felt like I wasn't as effective as I'd like to be in guiding them.

But after listening to just the first chapter of the book, which talked about not offering advice or minimizing your children's feelings when they're upset, I've already received value.

While the information in the book isn't new or groundbreaking, hearing examples and real-life applications sealed the deal for me.

The same day I listened to chapter one, I had many opportunities to practice with my oldest child, who has some concerns that I won't go into detail about here. Instead of offering advice or solutions, I followed the steps outlined in the book: I listened to him, gave him a sound that acknowledged I was listening, gave him a word to describe his feeling, and paraphrased how he must have been feeling. And it worked!

Instead of escalating, the conversation ended quickly, and (just like the book said) he later started generating ideas on how to solve his problem on his own. 

When we started having a conversation about his ideas rather than his reaction to his concerns, he was much more receptive to my input at that time. This moment showed me that I really like the way the book presents this information, and I think it's going to work.

I stopped listening to the audiobook after chapter one, as the authors suggest reading one chapter per week, implementing what you learned, and reviewing before moving on to the next chapter. 

I've found that I implement ideas best when I take my time with the material, including reflecting and journaling on it, like I'm doing today. I really want these tools to become ingrained in me, so I'm going to follow the journey as prescribed.

Here's to adding effective tools to my toolbox and creating a pathway to lead my children with compassion, grace, and love.

You can find it on Amazon by clicking here (Affiliate Link)

I'll keep you all updated as I progress through the book!

Peace and blessings,

Love always,

LaDay 

Using Mindmaps to Plan and Break Down Priorities - Mindmap Based Planning

I’m experimenting with yet another way to think about planning. 

Side Note: I think it’s so funny how I get excited about a planning system, implement it, think it’s the next best thing, then it falls apart. LOL!

However, I will say when I get excited about the next thing, it’s usually because it's better than the last thing that I tried. This new system that I'm experimenting with is no different. 

I was inspired to try using a Mindmap-Based Planning System because of a creator names Sheng Huang (see video below).

In this blog posts, I'm going to share why I'm attracted to this system and what problems it solves for me a busy mom juggling all the things

The Benefits of Using a Mindmap-Based Planning System

1. Breaking Down Priorities into Sections

One of the things I love about using a mindmap to plan is that it allows me to break down my priorities into sections. With so many areas of my life to juggle, it can be overwhelming to try to fit everything into one planner. However, having multiple different planners to check can also be frustrating. With a mindmap, I can separate my priorities into different nodes and still have them all in one place.

2. A Blend of Digital and Paper

I find that having a blend of digital and paper-based planning works best for me. I can keep the main master to-do list in a digital mindmap, but when I am planning in detail, I prefer to use paper. I have a plain notebook where I pull out what I need to focus on for the day. This way, I can keep my mindmap up-to-date yet still have a physical copy of my plans for the day.

3. A Weekly Dashboard Without a Weekly Spread

Using a mindmap to plan also gives me a way to have a weekly dashboard without necessarily using a weekly spread. I divide my mind map into two major nodes (as seen in the video linked above), one for regular, recurring routines, and one for new goals. This way, I can easily separate out what is coming up for the week and what needs to be prioritized.

4. Analyzing Capacity and Realistic Goals

The mindmap-based planning system also allows me to analyze my capacity and decide what is realistic for me to focus on each day. I measure each task in 15-minute increments and take into consideration my routine and ongoing obligations. I know that I can comfortable squeeze in 10 hours of work each. I make sure that I subtract all the minutes of existing obligations (or I can remove some if needed) before I start trying to squeeze in new goals for the day. This way, I can decide how many new goals I can comfortably fit into my day.

5. Time Estimations for Tasks

Putting estimated times on tasks helps me with time blindness and motivation. Sometimes, I can struggle with “I got all day syndrome”. When I’m not reminded of how long tasks take, I can trick myself into believing that I have all day to get it done and I’ll just work on it later.  It's always a frustrating feeling when I realize at the end of the day that there are not enough hours left in the day to do all the things that I originally wanted to accomplish. So seeing all the tasks with the reminder of how long each task takes encourages me to get started sooner or readjust my expectations.

The time stamps also help with motivation. When I see that a task will only take 15 minutes (for example), I feel more motivated to knock it out.

6. Time Fluidity

One of the problems I had with scheduling everything out according to specific dates and/or times was that when something threw us off schedule, I did not feel motivated to sit down and replan everything. With a mindmap-based planning system, I have one big planning session, and then I do not have to worry about planning for a couple of weeks. If I get off track, it's easier to jump back in and pick up where I left off. I do acknowledge that there will be tasks that are time sensitive. Using the two-week sprints and project planning strategies demonstrated in the video above addresses this concern. .

Conclusion

In conclusion, I believe using a mindmap-based planning system will solve many of the problems I encountered with previous planning systems. I love how it allows me to break down my priorities, use a blend of digital and paper-based planning, and analyze my capacity for each day. I also appreciate how it helps with time blindness and time estimations for tasks. Finally, I love how it is time-fluid. I look forward to reporting back as I attempt to implement this system into my life. 

What frustrates you about planning?

Have you tried a mindmap-based planning system before?

Check out My Setup Here

Love Always, LaDay

Connect with me on Instagram

Connect with on Youtube