Parenting Book Review: How to talk so kids will listen & Listen so kids will talk

To be honest, I don't even remember purchasing the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids Will Talk

Even when I saw it in my Audible account, I was hesitant to read it because it didn't seem like something I'd be interested in.

While I'm all for improving my parenting skills, something about the title made me think of self-help books with high-level advice that's hard to apply to everyday life.

But boy, was I wrong! I'm so glad this book came into my life at the right time.

I was recently discussing with a friend on Instagram the challenges we were facing in our gentle parenting journeys. I've been working hard to strip away unhealthy habits like spanking, yelling, and threatening, but it's become clear that I have very few EFFECTIVE tools left to encourage my children to follow my lead.

While I know there are some vague guidelines on how to work with children without resorting to traditional approaches, the truth is that kids aren't always rational, and some behaviors need to be addressed quickly. I felt like I wasn't as effective as I'd like to be in guiding them.

But after listening to just the first chapter of the book, which talked about not offering advice or minimizing your children's feelings when they're upset, I've already received value.

While the information in the book isn't new or groundbreaking, hearing examples and real-life applications sealed the deal for me.

The same day I listened to chapter one, I had many opportunities to practice with my oldest child, who has some concerns that I won't go into detail about here. Instead of offering advice or solutions, I followed the steps outlined in the book: I listened to him, gave him a sound that acknowledged I was listening, gave him a word to describe his feeling, and paraphrased how he must have been feeling. And it worked!

Instead of escalating, the conversation ended quickly, and (just like the book said) he later started generating ideas on how to solve his problem on his own. 

When we started having a conversation about his ideas rather than his reaction to his concerns, he was much more receptive to my input at that time. This moment showed me that I really like the way the book presents this information, and I think it's going to work.

I stopped listening to the audiobook after chapter one, as the authors suggest reading one chapter per week, implementing what you learned, and reviewing before moving on to the next chapter. 

I've found that I implement ideas best when I take my time with the material, including reflecting and journaling on it, like I'm doing today. I really want these tools to become ingrained in me, so I'm going to follow the journey as prescribed.

Here's to adding effective tools to my toolbox and creating a pathway to lead my children with compassion, grace, and love.

You can find it on Amazon by clicking here (Affiliate Link)

I'll keep you all updated as I progress through the book!

Peace and blessings,

Love always,

LaDay