YOU Make the Magic

Last night, I dreamed I was at my grandmother's house. We were sitting at the table. I don't remember exactly what we were talking about. Every so confidently, loving, and proudly, my grandmother clasped both of her hands over mine, she looked me in my eye and told me to "YOU make the magic".

It was almost as if I were complaining or expressing helplessness (which I find I've been struggling with lately) and she wanted to remind me that no matter how much control I think I don't have in this world, I can still chose to show up and to not be passive.

I think about all of the areas where I've been passive lately. 

• I consume more social media that I would like. I consume other people's "magic" and creativity, yet I struggle to produce my own (although I know deep down inside I would very much like to).
• I feel helpless as I learn about genocide and dishonest politicians. There are things that I could contribute to social change, even if it's very small. Yet, I feel paralyzed, helpless, and I find myself just watching.
• I want to grow in my career. Over the last year and a half, I've experienced rejection after rejection. After a while, I started to become discouraged.

The message from my grandma reminds me to have hope and try again.

I think of all the ways that my grandma was a magic maker. One of the biggest examples was during holidays. Holiday's always felt so warm ,cozy, loving and inviting when she was around. Now that she's gone, I struggle to recreate that feeling in myself. I very quickly realized that the holiday's alone weren't that special. It was all the things that my grandmother did for us that made them feel magical. From hanging up decorations, to the fun traditions, to the home cooked meals. I wish I would have cherished those moments more when I had the chance. Without her special touch, those holidays wouldn't have felt as special. Modeling what she did for us, I try my best to be the magic maker for my own family.

To me " YOU Make the Magic," implies co-working/ co- creating with God, our creator. Action on its own can sometimes feel meaningless or like its not making an impact. When I feel like my actions aren't impactful, I find myself asking, "What's the point?" Aligned action with God means we recognize our limitations as humans, and know that God can make that small act more impactful than anything we could ever do on our own. This perspective gives me hope.

This dream was important to me because it felt like my grandma was reaching down from heaven, encouraging me to keep hope alive, to keep going, and to not give up.